01 January 10

A year ago

This was my first post last year. And I think it summarizes how I felt during most of 2009. I was stressed, trying hard to remind myself that I had things to be happy with, feeling like I couldn’t control much of what I disliked about my life and situation, but realizing that I was and am the only person who has control over my outlook. And I know that I can change things that I don’t like, I just don’t know how I want them to change and until I get that part figured out, I can’t proceed.

But some really good things did happen, even if making them happen caused me more stress. And I tried to focus on the good, while recognizing that the bad was affecting me and I did my best to stop the negativity flow when I realized I was experiencing it and look for something positive instead. I didn’t always let it happen that way, but I tried.

And there are some things that I’m very happy about that are coming up this year. Because I’ve worked so much overtime I’m going to be taking a week off in January as soon as I can get this project wrapped up. And then I’m going to work four days a week until I’ve used my that comp time I’ve had accrued since last year since I couldn’t take it all this year. And just having more time to myself will be a good thing and will make it possible for me to work on some web stuff, do more cooking, and maybe eat at Hot Doug’s or Kuma’s on occasion for lunch since I know that getting Andrew to go with me is easy-peasy.

But mostly I have plans of being productive in all of the ways that I enjoy being productive. Seeing pictures of a quilt Carolyn made really inspired me to pull out of storage the quilt I started eons ago and work on it a little bit at a time. I’ve got all the pieces cut out and I’ve got about half of the squares pieced, so I just need to do a lot more piecing (which is going to begin with a lot of pressing) and then I get to figure out what the backing will be and actually turn it into a quilt. Part of why I stopped years ago was because I realized it wasn’t perfect. But I think I can accept that it isn’t perfect now, cause what I really want is to just be able to look at it everyday on my bed and see that I accomplished something huge. And I did it by breaking it down into small bits.

And this is probably the most important lesson I learned about myself this year. When I first started writing a book I was so overwhelmed that I had 4 months to write 300 recipes and about 10,000 words of other material. I couldn’t believe it. It just seemed way too much and there was no way I could do it and whining ensued. And then I thought, “Okay. You’ve got 17 weeks. How much do you have to do each week? How much do you have to do each day?” And when I realized that I only had to write about 3 recipes a day I decided that I could handle that. But only because I broke it down into smaller pieces. And since I did that (although some days I skipped a day which meant that weekends were about catching up and trying to get ahead), since I did the little pieces and I did them consistently, I got the big, overwhelming project done.

So 2009 was all about accomplishing smaller tasks on a consistent basis. I’d like to continue that trend this year with other projects. Projects like: continue writing One Good meal for Gapers Block with a focus on purchasing ingredients from independent grocers who aren’t in my neighborhood, actually write more a few posts a month for Publicious, design a lot of new bags that one may consider a “line”, get the web shop here turned into a real web shop, do something with http://www.cinnamoncooper.com, draw more attention to all the great local small crafting business owners in Chicago via the Chicago Craft Mafia, cook some of the things that still scare me (like French Macaroons, Momofuku’s Steamed Pork Buns, Gnocchi, homemade pasta, and poached eggs), and set aside one day a week at least where I just have fun and don’t worry about being productive. Like Ani Difranco says, I don’t want to forget to have a good time in 2010. And I’m grateful that I know a number of people who will help me do that.

Comments

  1. I think I’m in a similar situation as you. 2009 was not a good year. During the latter half, I realized that I was not happy and didn’t like the person I had become. I believe I always felt this way, but didn’t think I could change. But I decided that I had to try, that I couldn’t go through the rest of my life completely pessimistic, awkward and uptight.

    I would love to live minute by minute, but baby steps, right?

    I also decided it was time to get off my ass and do something for myself. So I learned to silk screen just before the year’s end (woohoo!) and I hope to set up an online shop in 2010. It’d be great to have an extra source of income, provided I succeed, because I almost ended up unemployed last year!

    Btw, I like your blog… I’ve been lurking for awhile. All the best in the year Twenty-ten!

    — meansoybean on Jan 1, 06:38 pm

  2. congrats and you accomplished a lot! i know you’ll do even more this year. start with poached eggs: super easy—a bit of white vinegar in the water and put the egg in a tea cup, then slide egg into water.

    — Sarah on Jan 2, 09:37 pm

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