05 November 08

Hopeful beyond expression

I’ve got huge amounts of hope right now. More than I’ve had in a very, very long time. Probably more than I’ve had since Clinton was elected. But much as that hope faded, I fear this hope may as well. It’s already tarnished to know that African American and Latino voters in California voted for Obama (making us one step closer to really ending racism) but then turned around and voted that the love that gay couples share should not be valued as equal to the love that hetero couples share. And Alabama decided that gay couples can’t legally adopt children. Not even the children of their partner.

Thankfully abortion is still legal in South Dakota and Colorado. Thankfully Obama is our President Elect. And I’m also very thankful for the concession speech that McCain gave last night. It seemed like it was the first speech where he truly spoke from the heart as a human. And I’m grateful to him for that speech. It helps make me feel more hopeful that compromise on both sides will happen. That divisions and lines will be blurred or softened or elminated.

And until I have reason to think otherwise, I’m going to remain hopeful. I also feel obligated to take this hope and apply it to my own life and my own work. I’ve been working 16 hours a day for the last several weeks and realized recently how many days of unpaid overtime I’ve worked and it really gave me pause. I’ve not been taking care of me for some time now. And I need to change that. Because if I’m not whole and happy, the people close to me are affected by that. And in the end, while the day job pays the bills, it isn’t my reason for living. I need to remember that. I need to take time to sew (especially since the DIY Trunk Show is coming up in a few short weeks), I need to take more time to be with friends (who I miss immensely), I need to take time to hear how my nephews are growing, I need to take time to just relax. And I want to take time to really want to take time to invest myself in things greating than my own personal interests.

I was told at the beginning of the summer that “I’m walking my whisper and want desperately to be walking my shout instead.” I’d forgotten about it, until I sat on the floor of a friend’s home, surrounded by amazing people, listening to our future president talk, and working on my laptop. I need to stop whispering. I need to start shouting instead. Taking a step away from work will permit me to get my breath back I hope. Taking a few minutes to write this is a good first step in taking care of me. I hope there are a marathon’s worth of steps to follow.

Comments

  1. you go, girl. take that time back.

    — carolyn on Nov 5, 02:04 pm

  2. Cinnamon, I share your feelings.
    To me, last night was a reverse 9/11. A eucatastrophe. Suddenly I felt like the future is a much more hopeful place and I can’t wait to see what happens from here. What a rare and wonderful thing. Seeing the crowds cheering from around the world blew me away. I was flipping channels like a madman, and at 11:01 was on ComedyCentral when Jon Stewart interrupted Stephen Colbert and said, “Barack Obama is President of the United States.” It sent a shiver down my spine, and yeah, it got a little dusty in the room. Not even so much for Obama, but for the overwhelming tide of people everywhere who are aching for a better world—and may actually bring it into being. For the first time in my kids lives, I think, “this might work out for you guys.” The first words out of their mouths this morning was, “who won?” Then cheers of joy when I told them. And McCain’s speech seemed amazingly heartfelt and classy. Like he was relieved that the burden of campaigning for the nutwing base was lifted from him. It is sad about those ballot questions. But I think it’s a temporary setback. The tide has turned away from that kind of narrowminded culture, and in the long run, there’s no turning back. Especially with Obama appointing Supreme Court justices. Guess that’s easy to say from here in Massachusetts.

    — Mike Rankin on Nov 5, 02:33 pm

  3. sigh I should just say ditto.

    But I will add that hearing McCain’s concession speech made me cry. Here he finally was….this old man…the old man I remember thinking at one point (way before this election) huh…I could vote for him…..this old man that made me hate him during the campaign….this old man returned….with humble eyes and a heartfelt touch…..I cried for our country….which has suffered so long under W and who will finally break free….and right now…I cry for California and Alabama. I cry for the people who are so hateful and so narrow minded that they would forget what real love is…and that it has nothing to do with sex….it has to do with heart. My heart goes out to them.

    :) K…I’m done.

    So…ditto

    — amy on Nov 5, 02:50 pm

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