09 June 08
Lamenting, or Why I Read Bitch Magazine Cover to Cover
I read every word, although I sometimes skip the music reviews, in order from cover to cover in Bitch magazine. And I’m always glad that I do. Cause if I didn’t, I wouldnt’ have read this bit of an interview between Angela Watrous and Sarah Forth, who wrote Eve’s Bible.
I was particularly moved by your discussion of lamentation—and that you go so far as to have an activity where women can write their own lamentations based on the biblical formula. You point out that when women hold in our complaints and discontent fo fear of being labeled “bitches,” our pain can leak out as whininess or cattiness. How is lamenting different than whining, and how can it help us?
Lamenting entails clearly stating what’s wrong and what would make things better. Being able to do that rests on the assumption that we are human beings of dignity and worht who deserve relief from our suffering.
Whining results from feeling powerless: I know I’m not going to get what I want, and all I can do is complain. It took me years to learn to say, “I want . . .” and “I need . . .”. The thrill of putting forth our desires isn’t dependent upon whether or not we get what we say we want. It’s in asserting our worthiness. I also think that being able to envision a future different from the painful present is the first step towards that future.Yup, reading about the Bible isn’t generally my thing, but this concept of lamenting is a new one, and one that I like the idea of. I’ve often been conflicted by my desire to vent because it doesn’t feel productive but when I don’t, it seems like I get all pent up and whiny and embittered and unhappy and I become miserable and people don’t want to be around me. And, well, I don’t like myself when I’m like that, either. But this lamenting, this learning to say “I want” and “I need” is a good thing to focus on as a first step.
Comments
Articulating what you want… can be difficult. Articulating what you need… can be impossible. The more you need it—like, really need it just to go on—the less likely it is you’ll know what “it” is.
When you find the secret to figuring out what you need, let me know.
— Brenda on Jun 10, 07:10 am
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