17 April 08
Fair Pay for women
I’m a day early, but since I probably won’t post before the 18th, I think its okay to cheat a bit.
I’m a manager. Its been in my title for about a year. And I’ve grown into the role. It’s not been an easy trek. I’ve learned a great deal about myself (and if so many of my co-workers didn’t read this I might have written more about that), and I’ve learned a great deal about people, and I’ve done things in the past year that I was shaking in my shoes over, but I did them. And let me tell you something, that low self-esteem post I wrote the other day, still holds true, but because of standing up and facing my fears and approaching troubling moments, scary moments, fearful moments, I vanquished one small corner of that low self esteem.
But I didn’t do it alone. I’ve been so fortunate. So very, very, very fortunate to have a few women who are 1-2 steps on the ladder above me, or they’re at my level, but they’ve been there long enough to know more than I do. And you know what they did? They shared with me. And they shared by example. The explained why they did things and because I admire them, when they nodded gently and nudged me forward I went. I went with my shoulders back and even though I didn’t really believe in myself, I figured if I could pretend that I did for about 15 minutes, I could fake my way through. And it worked. And then I thought, if faking confidence helps, what could real confidence get me?
And I don’t have empirical data, cause I’m still working on that part, but I’ve gotten good at gathering my confidence and forging onward for a few minutes. And each time I do so, it works for me. And, more importantly, each time I do so it gets easier to do it again and I become slightly more convinced that I’m right.
So, since I’ve been fortunate to have mentors, I thought I’d share just a little bit of information. “If you don’t ask for something, you won’t get it.” Whether it is a raise, a promotion, a job alteration, a trip to a conference, etc. But if you do ask, and if you ask in a professional and non-emotional way, you just may get it. And if you don’t, you’re not really any worse off than you were before.
A year ago, when I was offered the position of manager I sat down across the desk from my boss and held in my hand a tiny piece of paper. On this piece of paper was written the salary that I wanted, that I felt I deserved, that I felt that I earned. I kept it in my hand because I was nervous and because I wanted to be able to say “Actually, sir. I think I’m worth this much” if I needed to.
And when he showed me the form that contained the salary offer, I blinked. I looked at him in shock a little. “You’ve earned that, you know.” And instead of hemming and hawwing. Instead of diminishing his comments, I laughed a little and said, “Oh, I agree with you. I came in here prepared to ask for an amount, prepared to not accept less than an amount, this amount, actually. You’re offering me exactly what I think I need to feel comfortable taking on this role.”
And that may have been a huge coincidence, it may have been fate, it may have been that the recommendations I got from women I trusted was spot on. But it worked. And I didn’t have to argue. And the best part? When I went in that meeting I felt guilty asking for my desired amount. When I came out, I came out feeling like I deserved exactly what I got, exactly what I was prepared to ask for.
So, do I firmly believe that women get paid less than men in similar positions? You betcher feminist card I do. But do I think that we women owe it to each other to share skills we’ve learned to make it easier for other women to fake their courage and confidence long enough to say, “I’m a great employee and I deserve $X from this company.” And this won’t take care of all of it, but it will help some people, maybe many people.
And, here is another very pragmatic piece of information that I read in a great book on being a boss and asking for raises and promotions for yourself. If pay increases are handed out in your review, going into your review ready to ask for more money is the wrong timing. Two months before your review, schedule a time to go see your manager and present 3-5 things you’ve done during the past year that you feel make you qualified for a pay increase. Do your best to stay firm, confident, and focused. And you may not get it, but you will be more likely to get it if you ask beforehand than during. By the time your review comes, your department budget is probably already determined. And this negotiating tactic will work with other things as well. For example, “Because of the work I’ve done in the past year, I think I deserve a pay increase. However, if the company would be willing to send me to a conference, pay for me to take a class, sign me up for professional development, offer me some scholarship funds, give me extra vacation days, etc. I’d prefer that.” Sometimes cash in your check is less important than getting set up to earn more cash a little way down the road. Consider it an investment. Cause you’re worth it.
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