20 March 08
The difference is my friends
I’ve been back from SXSW for over a week now. (I’m also finally feeling better after getting the SXSWoozies that seemed to be going around and I’m grateful I didn’t get the SXSars that some folks were unlucky enough to carry home like a bad piece of schwag.)
And as I think about what my lingering thoughts about the conference were, I keep coming back to two things. Inspiration and friends.
I leave the conference generally exhausted and in people overload but amped and psyched and wanting to make and produce and share. I think feel icky and spending way more time than usual sitting on the couch with barely the energy to watch TV or knit, let alone do anything creative or productive, has been good for me. It’s made me think. Or its given me the opportunity to think first and prepare to act later. And the thinking has been good. I’ve got purse ideas (y’all have some good bags, you know), I’ve got some design goals (inspired by Naz, true, but also some serious soul searching since almost every bag I actually use is black, why am I making all these brightly colored bags that I don’t use myself?), I’ve got a digital ton of information I want to look up, read, explore, examine, discover, learn, and process and share. And all of that is good, but its not the biggest thing.
I could tell you to just watch George Kelly’s fabulous 20×2 video above. He kinda says it all really. And he’s responsible for bringing tears to my eyes and a lump to my throat. Even now, more than a week later, I watch this and still feel just as strongly as emotional as I did the night I saw him say this live.
Not just as SXSW friends make the difference in my life. But friends I’ve made at SXSW have been invaluable. Alison has slept on our couch, and has been one of my SXSW sherpas and I’m immensely grateful to her for all of that. She’s introduced me to so many people, helped me get over my social anxiety while there, and even let me see myself how she sees me. And I’m blessed that Andrew just randomly started reading her blog however many years ago. She’s also made me look truthfully at myself through her writing and her questions. I’m lucky to have someone in my life who can make me question myself while feeling loved and accepted no matter what answer I come to. I supremely wish she lived closer.
MJ is another sherpa I’m lucky to have. This woman was one of the first new people I ever met at my first SXSW (and there is an embarrassing picture of me with a Spongebob piñata to prove it) and now that she’s teaching hundreds of people how to get the rawkingest time out of their SXSW experience, I realize how lucky I am to get those lessons one on one as she didn’t hesitate to grab me by the arm and say “You need a beer and you need to meet someone.” Her energy is infectious, her wit is disarming, her joy of life is refreshing, her laughter is infectious, and her knowledge is much more immense than she is comfortable sharing. And I’m grateful to her for what she’s taught me about myself as well. And I’m grateful that she gave me the opportunity to make beautiful bags in red silk for her best-loved mates to use at her wedding. They turned out beautifully and I’m delighted to have been a part of her wedding since I couldn’t be there in person.
And as I thought about these two women, I thought about how amazing it was that the first two people that come to mind are women. I mean this is a tech conference. Boy central, right? I mean women are the minority, there, right? Probably not as much now as in the first year thanks to a concerted effort on the part of the organizers that hasn’t gone unnoticed. But even more amazing is the fact that I don’t generally connect with women right away. I tend to pick up on subtle competition that lies under the surface. And if I’m going to compete with someone I’m going to do it out in the open. And I don’t feel the need to compete as much as I used to cause I realize there’s enough to go around and you get more from sharing than you do from hordeing. And I think that is what first attracted me to these women, and inevitably to literally more than 100 other people I met over the last four years. A desire to share, learn, understand that was much stronger than a desire to get, teach, explain.
And the difference for me now, compared to me four years ago, is the wealth of friends I have. Friends who are comfortable hugging me and comfortable calling me out when I say or write something I didn’t think through. And I’ve even been able to meet some of the people who are internet famous that I like reading, respect, and am thrilled to have the opportunity to talk with in person or by email. Like George says, “The difference is my friends.” Thank you friends. Thank you, George.
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